Was Eleanor Roosevelt In A Boston Marriage
So picture this: it's the 1930s, you're the most powerful woman in America, your husband is the president, and you've got this one friend who basically lives in your pocket. A...
So picture this: it's the 1930s, you're the most powerful woman in America, your husband is the president, and you've got this one friend who basically lives in your pocket. A friend who sends you love letters that would make a Hallmark card look like a grocery list. The question on the table is simple: was Eleanor Roosevelt in what people affectionately called a Boston Marriage?
First, What on Earth Is a Boston Marriage?
A Boston Marriage sounds like a cozy New England brunch, but it's actually a term from the early 1900s describing two women who lived together in a committed, exclusive relationship — without a husband in sight. Think of it as history's version of cohabitation, but with fancier gloves and significantly more lace collars.
The term was popularized by Henry James in The Bostonians in 1886, because apparently nothing says romance like naming your concept after Boston. It was widely used to describe emotionally intimate, long-term partnerships between women — the kind of arrangement that raised eyebrows even in progressive circles.
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Meet Mary Lloyd Soares: The Friend Who Suspiciously Resembled Part-Time Spouse
This is where the story gets juicy. Mary Lloyd Soares was a social worker, activist, and Eleanor's constant companion for a whopping fifteen years. They traveled together, retired to Georgian Bay for summers alone, and basically did everything except, you know, buy matching robes.
Their private letters, which historians have happily sleuthed through, are... let's just say they read like love poetry on a budget. Eleanor wrote things like, "I'd love to have a rose garden and grow you 1,000 roses and when they were all growing together they would all be Mary roses." Sir, this was not intended for the baseboards of friendship.
FDR's Legacy to U.S. | US News
Soares affectionately called Eleanor her "best beloved" and sent her liberties full of letters that could make a Victorian poet weep into his inkwell. If there's a gold medal for writing friendship emails that sound deeply, deeply romantic, this woman would have swept the podium.
But Their Whole Love Life Is Sort of... The Whole Point
Now here's where it gets complicated, because Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt's marriage was famous for its open-doors policy. FDR had a long-running affair, Eleanor had various deeply emotional relationships, and somehow their Christmas card game remained impeccable. The Roosevelts were basically running a sitcom marriages department.
Eleanor wasn't exactly hiding her female friendships — they were right there in the open, written with passion and shared in living rooms. But potential-romantic-partner Eleanor had her plates spinning in so many heartfelt directions that historians still can't agree where one letter ends and another begins.
The Roosevelts’ Wedding Announcement, Annotated - NYTimes.com
So... Was It a Boston Marriage?
Honest answer? We don't know — and that's deeply delicious. Some historians argue Eleanor and Mary shared a romantic bond that fits the classic definition of a Boston Marriage to a T. Others say they were simply best friends so close that modern language can't quite accommodate them.
The actual squealer is that Eleanor believed strongly in loving people fully and authentically. She was ahead of her time in matters of the heart, probably behind her time in matters of fashion, and that's perfectly fine by us.
The Roosevelts’ Wedding Announcement, Annotated - NYTimes.com
The Real Takeaway (With a Side of Snark)
Whether their relationship was a Boston Marriage or a Friendship Record-Holder, Eleanor Roosevelt and Mary Lloyd Soares shared something most people spend decades searching for. It was deep, devoted, laughingly intense, and stubbornly delightful.
And honestly? The world might be a better place if more people communicated with the dramatic, poetic warmth that these two ladies managed on a Tuesday. Let's all agree to text our favorite humans a rose garden's worth of affection starting today.
Because at the end of the day, life's too short to leave your best beloved on read.
