Total Wine And More Advent Calendar

Let’s be honest: most Advent calendars are a cruel joke. You spend December opening tiny cardboard doors to reveal a chalky chocolate Santa that tastes like regret and wax. But then, like a caffeinated miracle, Total Wine And More drops its Advent calendar, and suddenly, December is a month-long party in a box. This isn’t for kids; it’s for adults who’ve earned their buzz and their skepticism.

Picture this: a sturdy, glorified cardboard suitcase packed with 24 mini bottles of wine and spirits. Yes, you read that right. Twenty-four little liquid surprises, each designed to make your daily “just checking the mail” moment feel like a victory lap. It’s the only calendar where you’re legitimately excited to wake up to a Tuesday.

The Boozy Math That Works

Individually, buying twenty-four small bottles of wine would cost you your dignity and about three hundred dollars. The Total Wine advent calendar usually hovers around $60 to $80, depending on the year. That’s like paying for a nice dinner and getting a month of happy hours for free.

The value is so good it feels illegal, but don’t worry—it’s totally above board. You’re basically paying for the thrill of mystery, with a side of economics that makes you feel like a genius. Plus, you never have to commit to a whole bottle of something that tastes like burnt tires. Small batches, big adventure.

The 24 Days of “What The Heck Is This?”

Each tiny bottle is foil-wrapped and numbered, creating a ritual of suspense that rivals a Netflix cliffhanger. You’ll get everything from crisp Sauvignon Blancs and jammy Zinfandels to weird, wonderful stuff like Portuguese rosés or a “Moscato that tastes like peach cobbler.”

About five of those bottles will be complete strangers to your palate. That’s part of the magic—you’ll discover you actually like something from Argentina or a weirdly good sparkling Riesling from Germany. The bad news? You’ll also open a bottle that smells like a wet dog in a barn. The good news? It’s only a thimbleful.

If you hate it, you’re done in two sips. No regrets, no pouring a whole bottle down the sink while whispering apologies to the grape gods.

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The Great Spirit Or Wine Debate

Here’s where it gets tricky: Total Wine makes two versions of this calendar. One is all wine, for the classy sippers. The other is a “Spirits” calendar, featuring tiny bottles of whiskey, vodka, rum, and gin. This one is chaos wrapped in a bow.

The spirits version is like a bar exam from a very drunk professor. You might pull out a cinnamon whiskey that tastes like fireball candy, followed by an oddly floral gin that smells like your grandma’s garden exploded. It’s unpredictable, but that’s the fun—you get to be a mad scientist with mixers.

Pro tip: the wine calendar is safer for sharing with friends. The spirits calendar is for solo “research” while wearing sweatpants and questioning your life choices.

Surprising Facts That Will Make You Look Smart

Did you know Total Wine started selling these calendars in the late 2010s, and they sell out within hours online? It’s become a Black Friday-level blood sport. People set alarms. Bots buy them. It’s like Taylor Swift tickets, but for booze.

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Another shocker: the bottles are 187 ml each—exactly one glass of wine. That’s the perfect amount to drink while you’re wrapping presents or pretending to listen to your cousin’s story about their “CBD-infused yoga retreat.” It’s portion control that feels like a reward.

And here’s the kicker: the wine calendar often includes bottles from small, family-owned wineries you’ve never heard of. You’re not just drinking; you’re becoming a knowledgeable snob one sip at a time.

The Ugly Truth You Need To Hear

Is every bottle a winner? Absolutely not. You will encounter a pink Moscato that tastes like a melted Jolly Rancher that fell into a puddle. You might pour out a Cabernet that smells like a haunted library. That’s fine. Failure is part of the journey.

But here’s the real surprise: you’ll find two or three wines that become your new favorites. That’s worth the price of admission alone. Plus, it’s a conversation starter. “Oh, this? It’s from Day 8 of my booze calendar. It pairs well with existential dread.”

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How To Not Be A Total Idiot With It

First, do not open all 24 bottles on Christmas Eve unless you want to be that person who FaceTimes their ex at 2 AM. Treat it like a daily ritual. Open one, taste it, and write a note on the box. Build a dairy of drunk discoveries.

Second, invite a friend over for a “mystery tasting party.” Let them pick a random number, then both of you drink and judge. It’s like a wine club, but with lower stakes and higher probability of laughter.

Finally, don’t regift it. Seriously. If you buy it for someone, buy one for yourself. This is not a test of generosity; it’s a test of self-control. I failed. I bought two.

So go find one. They’re probably sold out by now, but camp out online next year. Because let’s face it—when adulthood gives you a calendar of tiny wine bottles, you don’t ask questions. You pour and you ponder.